


Rest In Pieces

by Liza1031



Series: Harringrove One-Shots [90]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Birth, Child Loss, Depression, Harrington-Hargrove Child(ren), Harrington-Hargrove Family, Heavy Angst, Husbands, Love, M/M, Marriage, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Postpartum Depression, Pregnant Steve Harrington, Sad, homebirth, labor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza1031/pseuds/Liza1031
Summary: Steve and Billy are gifted a rainbow baby.One-shot based on the Rest In Pieces by Saliva.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Series: Harringrove One-Shots [90]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987054
Kudos: 6





	Rest In Pieces

Steve’s been learning to live and adapt with his depression and anxiety. The last year and a half hasn’t been the easiest for him or his family, but they’ve been getting by just fine.

Being pregnant and expecting his third child has had its ups and downs for Steve. Having done this one and a half times already, Steve didn’t exactly know how he’d be able to handle it. With his first pregnancy, he was sick all the time, constantly exhausted, and his labor was even worse. But when his son was born, he was happy he was no longer pregnant and could enjoy his baby boy. His second pregnancy wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, in fact it was just rain clouds the whole four and a half months he was pregnant.

On the night of December tenth, Steve had unexpectedly gone into preterm labor. He woke up to blood stained sheets and just knew something was wrong with their baby.

_-Flashback-_

_Snow was lightly falling outside when Steve and Billy arrived at the hospital. Billy held his husband, who could barely stand from how much pain he was in, and they walked into the Emergency Room together. Steve was taken back right away as it was urgent something was wrong._

_Billy was by his side the whole time and not once let his hand go, even when he had to change into a gown after being told that he was going to be admitted that night._

_Several doctors and nurses were in and out of Steve’s room, muttering to each other about what they believe could be wrong but Steve knew. He knew it the moment he saw the blood in between his legs that their baby was gone._

_An on-call OB GYN had come into Steve’s room and performed an ultrasound to confirm that their baby was indeed dead._

_Time stood still for both men._

_The little being they had created out of love was dead, sitting there lifeless inside Steve’s belly._

_Steve wept in Billy’s arms and Billy knew he had to be strong for his husband, even if it was the hardest thing to do at the moment, he had to do it for Steve._

_The following morning, at half past six, Steve delivered their tiny baby boy, Ethan William Harrington-Hargrove. He had gone through with the birth and birthed his baby how he had wanted rather than then cutting him open._

_When his son was placed into his arms, all Steve could do was cry and feel guilty that he caused this. Billy held his boys and watched the emotional exchange of ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ to their son. Steve didn’t want to let him go and knows that this moment of holding his stillborn baby will forever be etched into his heart._

_It was hard enough to see the little human he and Billy made, no longer with them, but it was even harder to tell their two year old about what happened to their baby brother._

_Steve and Billy had decided that he would stay home and not go see them at the hospital. So, when they returned two days later, Aiden sat with his parents and they told him that his baby brother had died inside his mommy’s belly. Aiden didn’t quite understand, he was only two after all, but he knew it was sad because his mommy and daddy were crying and never seemed to stop._

_They explained it to him as best as they could, well, enough for him to know that he wasn’t gonna have a baby brother anymore. Aiden moved on pretty quickly though, he was still so young so he wasn’t all that used to death or losing someone close to him, he just didn’t understand it._

_For Steve and Billy, it wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to cope with._

_Steve had gone to therapy because they all knew he would need it and if they can’t provide him with guidance then a professional might._

_For months, Steve sought help from someone and just didn’t seem to be getting better. He was in a deep depression and would hardly leave the house or see his son. It killed Billy to see his husband like this and he apologized over and over again thinking maybe it was his fault Steve was so...lost._

_Eight months after they lost their son, Billy had brought up the topic of them maybe considering having another child. He had reminded Steve that they don’t need to rush into things or not even have another for a while but Steve took it all personally and flipped out. Steve wasn’t sure about trying again for a baby because he wasn’t sure he could handle another loss which resulted in them having a lot of drunken fights together._

_Steve felt as though his husband was purposely pushing them to have another baby and practically blaming him for losing their baby which made Steve feel even worse about himself._

_Of course, Billy didn’t know that and would never in a million years do or say anything that hurtful to his husband. He loves Steve more than life itself. Steve’s his soulmate, how could he ever talk down on the one person that makes him feel good. The one person who made him cherish the air he breathes and the life he lives. Steve was his everything and it was awful to see his husband so distraught and depressed and at rock bottom._

_Not only did Billy feel bad for Steve, he also felt for Aiden. Their poor little boy didn’t know why his mommy was so sad all the time or why he’d just stay in his room for days on end. Aiden would ask for Steve the moment he’d come home from daycare to the moment he went to sleep. Billy wasn’t exactly sure about leaving him home with Steve so he had enrolled him at a daycare just so that he’d be taken care of and also get a headstart on his education, it was win-win for little Aiden in that area, but also a loss because he missed his mommy._

_Steve didn’t realize how much his depression had been affecting his son until one night in bed Billy had told him Aiden asked why his mommy doesn’t love him anymore. That felt like a knife to the heart._

_After that night, Steve woke up early the next day, took a shower, for the first time in weeks, made himself some tea, then made breakfast for his boys. It wasn’t much but it was a start._

_When Aiden woke up and saw that his mommy was downstairs, he didn’t smile or react, just stared at him and Steve knew he did wrong by his baby._

_Billy had held his son on his hip while he got his morning coffee and joined his husband at the table._

_“I made you your favorite, Aidy. Strawberry banana pancakes.” Steve tries._

_Aiden sat in his father’s lap and frowned at his mommy, he wasn’t sure what to do. His now three year old self felt like his mommy no longer loved him and didn’t want him around._

_“Aidy, baby, what do you say to mommy?” Billy asks him and presses a kiss to his son’s cheek._

_“Fanks mommy but I no hungry.” Aiden says._

_Steve sadly smiles but doesn’t let it bother him. “That’s okay bud.”_

_Steve had carried on drinking his tea while Billy drank his coffee and ate his pancakes then got himself and their son ready for their day._

_While Billy was helping Aiden pick out an outfit to wear, Steve had come in and pulled Billy aside, leaving Aiden in his room by himself._

_“Babe, I’d love to chat but we’re gonna be late if I don’t get him dressed now.”_

_Steve heaves a sigh before going for it. “Leave him here today. With me.” He says and Billy looks at him as if he has three heads. “I know I haven’t been as involved as I should be but he’s still my son and after what you told me last night, I can’t let him keep thinking I don’t love him because I do love him. I love him more than anything, you know that and I can’t-”_

_“Okay, okay.” Billy puts his finger to Steve’s lip, shutting him up. “I’ll leave him here.”_

_Steve’s face softens and a smile forms on his face._

_“I’ll leave him here but you have to promise me that you’re sure about this and will be there for him.” Steve nods as Billy continues. “You owe everything to our little boy, Steve. You owe him all the time you’ve missed in the past year. Now, I’m not saying that’s your fault because I know it’s not, but he exists too and he needs you. You’re his mother, you gave him life, be there for him like he’s there for you.”_

_“I promise Billy, I promise I’ll be better. Just give me a chance.”_

_Billy looks past Steve to their son who was playing with his toys, “Okay.” He finally says. “You better not make me regret this.”_

_“I won’t.” Steve smiles and kisses his husband for the first time in a long time._

_That day, Steve had a mommy son day with his little boy and it was amazing getting to spend the special time with his son. Aiden was already so smart and kind and turning into his own little character, Steve regrets missing out on the last few months but he was going to make it up to him. And he did._

_It took some time but Steve reconnected with his son and apologized for all the sadness he caused him. It broke his heart knowing his son thought he didn’t love him anymore but Steve had to prove to him that he did and would love him until the day he died._

_One night, Steve and Billy had talked like adults and got everything off their chests that they had both been bottling inside them for the longest time._

_They eventually got drunk so they had sex, then few weeks later they found out Steve was pregnant again. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go through with the pregnancy and that they can always adopt but Billy had told him this was a gift from their little boy in the clouds and that he gave them this baby to love and to cherish forever._

_Billy begged his husband for another chance at this and Steve gave him his answer in a long, slow, and heated kiss before telling his husband they’re having another baby._

_It was like everything was finally falling into place for them._

_-End of flashback-_

Steve was now six months along and was currently in the middle of another at home appointment with his midwife.

He and Billy have decided to plan for a home birth with a midwife. Ever since he lost his second baby, he didn’t like hospitals and would much rather welcome their child at home with a small group of team than a whole bunch of random strangers he’s never met before.

They interviewed several midwives and settled on one they felt would best support them and help them throughout Steve’s pregnancy and birth when the time came. Her name was Bonnie St. Val and she was like a godsend for Steve. She too had experienced infant loss when she was in her early twenties so she understood what Steve had gone through and was currently going through. It felt nice having someone to connect with on that level, so Steve felt somewhat relieved to have her during his pregnancy.

Anyway, Bonnie was over their house for Steve’s appointment to check up on the baby. Billy’s gone for a work related meeting, so Aiden was home with his mommy for the appointment.

Steve was laying on the couch with his belly revealed, out in the open. Bonnie measured his bump, felt the baby’s position, and used a doppler to hear their heartbeat. Aiden stood by his mommy during the whole check up and was amazed by everything she was doing.

“Hey Aiden, do you wanna feel your baby brother or sister?” Bonnie asks.

Aiden nods and she takes his hand, pressing it to Steve’s bump. The baby was moving around underneath their touch and a smile spread on the boy’s face.

“Woah.” He giggles and Steve smiles up at his little boy. “Thas baby mommy!”

“Yeah, that’s your baby brother or sister in there.” Steve just loves that his son’s so excited about being a big brother. “It’s crazy huh?”

“Ya! Crazy mommy!”

“Yeah.” Steve smiles while Bonnie uses a doppler and let’s them listen to the baby’s heartbeat.

The loud thumping echoes around them and Steve’s smile widens knowing his baby was doing good and appeared to be healthy.

“Baby’s heart sounds great, nice and strong.” Bonnie says and leaves it pushed against him so they can hear it a little bit longer. “He or she appears to be doing well inside mommy’s belly which is great as well.” She adds.

Bonnie then removes the doppler and helps Steve sit up. She talks with him about the baby’s development and Steve’s health, more so his mental health. She knows everything he’s going through so she wants to make sure to touch base with him and let him know not to be afraid to confide in her.

Afterwards, Bonnie leaves and Steve is still on the couch watching Aiden play with his cars on the carpet.

He had his hands folded over his bump and started to feel the little one kick.

“Aidy, c’mere! The baby’s kicking!” He waves his son over and Aiden gets up quickly, rushing to his mommy.

Aiden climbs on the couch and puts his little hands on Steve’s belly. He’s been waiting to feel the baby kick and every time he or she starts, once Aiden is there, they stop. So, Steve uses every chance he can get to let his son feel the baby kick. Sure he’s felt them moving a little but he wanted to feel his baby brother or sister kick.

“Did you know baby brother or baby sister can hear you?” Steve tells him.

“Dey can?”

“Mhm.” He hums.

Aiden brings his face close to Steve’s belly and starts to talk to his baby brother or sister. “Hi baby. Is yous brodur, Aidy. I wove yous.”

“Aww, you love them a lot huh buddy?”

“I do mommy.”

“I love them too.” Steve smiles at his son then lets him go back to playing while he stays put on the couch, watching tv.

Steve knows he’s going to be such a great big brother to the new baby, he was already preparing for their other child but they never got to meet.

There are times Aiden asks about his brother, Ethan. He wonders what he’s doing up in the clouds, if he’s okay, if he misses them, and if he loves them. It’s not easy for Steve to talk about but he wanted to answer any question his son had about his brother.

Aiden knows that his baby brother is watching over them, but sometimes he misses him and wishes he was there with them when the new baby arrived. He didn’t want Ethan to miss out.

**\---**

As Steve got closer to his due date, anxiety started to set in. He gives himself daily panic and anxiety attacks which Billy tries to help him through and hates seeing his husband this way because it breaks his heart. His anxiety is all self-inflicted because he constantly thinks about having a stillbirth and isn’t sure if he can do this.

One night, yet another sleepless night, Steve was up late. He couldn’t sleep due to how uncomfortable he was.

He groaned and started to shake his husband’s arm. “Billy.”

“Hmm...what?” Billy stirred in his sleep, slowly waking up.

“Billy, I need you. It’s...the baby.”

Billy shot right up and was wide awake.

“What’s wrong with the baby?! Is it okay?! Are you okay?!” Billy looks over at Steve and sees his husband lying there, bags evident under his eyes, sleep just barely there.

“Babe, can you talk to ‘em for me please? I can’t sleep.” Steve whines.

“Okay.” Billy sighs with an eye roll but scoots down so that he’s face to face with Steve’s belly.

“Hey baby, this is your daddy again. Now, I don’t want to be mean but your mommy really needs some sleep. He’s working extra hard to make sure you’re healthy and get here okay. Let mommy be comfortable so that he can rest.”

Steve begins to cry hearing his husband talk to their baby. “I’m sorry you have to go through this with me, babe.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Billy tells him and moves up to give his husband a kiss. “This baby is a little miracle and I love you so much for giving me another child.”

“I love you more.” They share another kiss and Steve eventually dozes off while Billy rubs his belly and relaxes him for the first time in a while.

**-Weeks Later-**

Steve was officially in labor and was working with his husband through his contractions. This was his first time having a natural birth because when he had Aiden, he had an epidural from how badly it hurt. His mom was there as well as his midwife, Bonnie, and Aiden present.

Steve didn’t want a lot of people and felt it was better that way. He labored mostly downstairs in the bathroom and in the living room with Billy by his side helping him.

At one point during Steve’s labor, he was on his hands and knees with a bucket in front of him as he’s been throwing up from the pain. He started to cry, sobbing from how badly it hurt and how much his back was sore. He cried and didn't say anything just cried and cried.

It broke Billy’s heart seeing him like this and so he comforts him as best as he could knowing this wasn’t easy after their previous loss but that he can do it.

Hours went by and when Steve was finally able to start pushing, he was set up on the living room floor with pads and towels under him. He was leaning against Billy’s chest, being situated in between his legs. Steve had his own legs spread and lazily bent at the knee while Bonnie was in between them ready to assist in the birth of his child.

Since Steve wanted Aiden there, his mom had him with her in the corner of the living room, watching her son birth her third grandchild.

Steve had prepared himself for this birth. He watched a lot of videos, ready many blogs and birth stories from other moms, and even reached down inside of him, kinda making inner peace with his past for him to have the strength to birth another baby.

So, Steve used his strength and energy and focused it all into birthing his baby. Each push and each breath he took brought him closer to meeting his child.

He had requested a mirror be set up so Bonnie had one right in between his legs, just close enough for him to see because he wanted to be the one to fully deliver his baby, not his midwife, him. He wanted to do this on his own, even if she was there, he needed to do this, to prove to himself that he did do it.

Steve pushed and watched as his baby’s head emerged each time then would retract back when he took in another breath. He didn’t give up and just kept going, watching the almond shaped mass push out of his body.

Billy was quietly and sweetly whispering words of encouragement to his husband, looking in the mirror as well, as Steve worked to bring their baby Earthside.

After about eight rounds of hard pushing, Steve started to get loud which scared his son so his mom took him into another room while Steve continued to deliver the baby.

His body shook and moved into awkward positions to help with the pain he was feeling. He’d shift when the baby’s head would sit in a weird position or stretch him, causing his entrance to feel like it was on fire. Billy and Bonnie kept reminding him that it was okay and that he was doing great.

Steve continued to vocalize through his pushing, recognizing that it was helping him apparently, so he stuck with that.

He pushed for another hour to get the baby’s head. It took a lot out of him just to deliver that portion of the baby, knowing he still has the rest to go. He was out of breath and sat there against his husband with his hands on their baby’s head.

Bonnie remained hands off and just watched the two men unintentionally exchange their love and compassion between each other while they were in the middle of birthing their child.

Steve had his head resting in the crook of Billy’s neck while he waited for a contraction to come so he could push. He was staring up at the ceiling, just thinking. He was almost done, almost at the finish line.

Billy was pressing a kiss every now and then to Steve’s temple, falling more and more in love with the man who’s giving him his children and making him a father yet again. He was on cloud nine at the moment and never wanted to come down.

After waiting for a few minutes, the contraction built up inside Steve so he got ready to push again. He kept his down gently on his baby’s head and gave a big push. He brought them out some more and could see that the cord was around its neck but he didn’t have time to take it off because just pushed ‘em all the way out into his hands.

Steve gasps from the unusually unpleasant feeling in between his legs as their little one bursts out with a rush of fluids. He brings the baby up and checks to see what they have.

“It’s a girl!” He announces and begins to cry. “You’re a baby girl.” He says to his daughter as tears pour out of his eyes. “Billy, we have a daughter.”

“I know.” Billy smiles, crying as well. “She’s perfect, babe. You did it.”

“I did it.” Steve whimpers. He was exhausted but thrilled she was here.

He patted her back, calming and shushing her as she squalled on her mommy’s chest. “Sweet girl, sweet girl, mommy and daddy are so happy you’re here. We have waited so long for you, so long baby girl.” Steve kissed his daughter’s head then felt a kiss on his own head from his husband.

Steve’s mom then came over with Aiden on her hip and they both got down to Steve and Billy on the floor. She pointed to the baby in Steve’s arms while Billy and Steve smiled at their son.

“Hey Aidy, this is your baby sister.” Billy tells his son.

Steve looks up at his son, more tears filling his eyes. He felt so overjoyed that he had his babies with him, finally. He reaches a clean hand up and cups his son’s face, “I love you so much baby boy. So much.” He sniffles.

“I wove yous too mommy and baby siser.”

“She loves you too, very much.”

Steve’s able to just lay there with his baby girl on his chest feeling her skin to skin, it was a moment he’d never forget. Billy was happy and couldn’t have asked for a better husband or family to be a part of.

“This is so amazing, babe. You did so good.” Billy cries and kisses his husband. “I am so proud of you.”

**\---**

Later on once the family was settled, Steve was up in bed drinking a smoothie with his baby girl asleep against his bare chest and their son getting to properly meet her.

Billy brought him to their bed and set him down as Steve’s mom and Joyce, who was now there, watched the sight with tears in their eyes as the kids have made a beautiful family together.

Steve kisses his husband as they sit together with their kids and are left alone for a while to just enjoy the moment.

“You have been the best husband I could ever ask for. I never thought I’d be so lucky to have someone like you by my side, the good and the bad, you were there for me. I love you Billy.”

Billy’s lips curl into a smile and he has small tears in his eyes, “I love you too. You gave me three beautiful babies and have been such an amazing husband since day one. I love you so much, Stevie, I love you, until the end of time.” **(A/N: IF YOU KNOW WHERE THAT LYRIC IS FROM WE CAN BE FRIENDS!)**

They share a kiss then focus their attention back to their babies whom they both love more than the world.


End file.
